After You Left
by xXPrincess-of-DarknessxXx
Summary: This an Oneshot based on the show and books, but it's Show bamon :) It's properly set after 5x04 and 5x05. It's AU (but maybe this happens in a way ) Damon has died to save Bonnie (like in the books). It's her diary entry. I hope you will like this :)


**Hey guys so that's a show bamon oneshot and I'll properly do a sequel to it if you want one :D It's AU though I wish this would happen. I hope you like this. Enjoy reading :D And review if you like to ;) If you haven't read Midnight, I'm sorry for any spoilers ^^ **

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Dear Diary,

I don't know where to begin, so I'll just tell you as much as I want to. Damon died. You don't believe me? But he did die. He…died for me, to save my life and he didn't waste a second to do so, he didn't even flinch.

A week has passed now. Elena is still sad, but she has Stefan to find comfort. They both have each other. Caroline and Tyler aren't affected of the news since they didn't like him much, they did 'tolerate' him though. Nonetheless they showed up on his funeral.

Never had I thought that this day would come. Damon and dying? He was the definition of life and enjoying it. This wasn't right. He shouldn't have saved me. That idiot! How dare he sacrifice himself in order to bring me back?

However, I knew who was really to blame: Silas. This evil person who is a witch now too is the source of all danger. I'll kill him and bring Damon back. If he didn't make a deal with the devil, he would certainly be alive. Why didn't he listen to me when I told him to not agree with his deal? Was he so naïve to think he would leave them alone and not take revenge?

Oh, I'm sorry diary, but I forget to tell you that Damon was with me on the other side- or as I call it the 'Dark Dimension'- for a while. During his stay we kind of grew closer. We built up a genuine friendship and…I won't lie to you, but I have to say that I developed feelings for him.

Unbelievable, right? I know, I know. Don't judge me! He was there for me and I for him and we once shared a little kiss, though it really didn't mean anything. It was just because of the heat of the moment. Yet, for me it was more than just a sweet kiss. Silly me! I know.

You know what? I didn't tell this anyone, but I miss him. I miss him badly. I want him back, right now. I just want to hear his laugh, remarks, lame jokes, and I want to see his serious expression which looks funny at some times, face, everything of him.

The whole week I couldn't sleep because I had nightmares after nightmares. I was always picturing him running towards me and save me from the danger which lurked into the shadows of a tree.

In his last seconds of life he said his goodbyes to me, Stefan and Elena. He apologized for his mistakes in the past and even to me he apologized. Damon, apologizing? Damon didn't apologize. And if he did, he would want something in return. But no, this time everything seemed real, it was real. We all forgave him, but I did add that he didn't do anything wrong during our time in the Dark Dimension.

While he was telling us goodbye forever, I was a crying mess. I felt guilty for his situation and tried to apologize, but you know what he said? He said, _"Little bird, it's not your fault. Stop…stop blaming yourself for things you can't control…promise me."_

Of course, I promised him it, but wasn't I breaking it already. Oh, what a person am I? I shouldn't write this because it makes me to miss him more.

Stop, Bonnie! Stop feeling this way! You see, diary, I can't stop! I'm so alone and sad and I feel like crying because I really have no one here around me. I had Damon, but now…

I suppose, I don't deserve happiness because the universe steals it every time from me if I have it once. I was happy with him, we laughed and fight. I miss the silly fights too. I'm so tired. I'm tired of this all. Can I not be just content in my life?

No, I can't! I'm the witch who has to solve all of the problems whereas Elena and Caroline can have fun in college? Life is hard and not fair, I learned that…

Okay, my diary, I'll go to sleep. It's late and tomorrow Stefan and Elena will visit me. They aren't yet together, but it's only a time of matter and we'll see them being a couple. Good night and till then.

- Your Bonnie


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